Establishing Personal Boundaries

For Yourself and Your Mentees | Gospel-Centered Mentoring

One of the best ways to maintain our three-legged stool—our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being—is by establishing personal boundaries. Saying “yes” to something always means saying “no” to something else. Too often, our “no” ends up resulting in neglecting our own personal. Many of us struggle with boundaries. We convince ourselves that we can fit “just one more thing” into our schedules, and we feel guilty when we have to say “no.” Many of us are driven by an unhealthy sense of ministry obligation that causes things to pile up, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Brian Miller, Executive Director of Coach Approach Ministries, offers a helpful analogy: "Think about your space as land you own ... signposts help us rethink our personal boundaries."

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Here are three key signposts you can start using today:

🚧 No Trespassing: Saying “no” may feel uncomfortable, but it is often the most appropriate and healthy response. Understanding your God-given gifts and calling helps you prioritize what is most important. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

🏷️ For Sale: Look at your current commitments. Are there 2–3 things on your schedule that no longer serve you well? Maybe it’s time for a sale—letting go of unnecessary obligations to create margin for renewal. Jesus modeled this for us. Mark 6:31 recounts: "Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'”

Slowing down isn’t laziness—it’s obedience.

⛪ Holy Ground: Some spaces in your life must be protected at all costs—your non-negotiables. These are sacred times for renewal spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Just as airline safety instructions remind us to put on our own oxygen mask first, we must nourish ourselves first so we can serve our families and ministries well.

Call to Action

🔹 Practice Saying "No" – This week, say “no” to at least one request. Be gracious and loving, but firm. Let the individual know that you are at capacity and that saying “no” is the best way to honor both them and yourself.

🔹 Audit Your Calendar – Look at your next 60 days. What is consuming the most time? What commitments can you put up for sale to create more space?

🔹 Identify Your Non-Negotiables – What are your spiritual, emotional, and physical priorities this week? Schedule them in your calendar and protect them as you would any important meeting.