Prepare Your Heart for the Session
#23 in the Gospel-Centered Mentoring Series
Often, when you think about meeting with mentees, you might consider first what they will need spiritually and emotionally during the session. Perhaps you contemplate the challenges they might be working through or the sins they are struggling with and how you can assist them. But it is critical that you prepare your own heart for the session, like Uncle Ben tried to do before his difficult conversation with Peter.
Remember, we are at war! In Ephesians 6, Paul reminds us:
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (6:12,13).
When Satan sees you confronting mentees with the law, comforting them with the gospel, helping them carry out their callings, and charging them up through God’s promises, he knows that trouble is on the way for him because the gospel transforms hearts! As you fill mentees up with the power of Christ, they pose a real threat to Satan’s work! So, the devil is going to fight furiously to distract you and the mentees. Here is how he may tempt you before, during, or after a mentor session:[1]
He may try to convince you to work on all other pressing issues in your life until moments before the session so you are spiritually and emotionally unfocused. You may be amazed how your mind can keep you busy with trivial matters until it is time to meet the mentee.
He may accuse you of sin in your own life so you feel uncomfortable sharing law and gospel with the mentee. This is far more common than you may realize.
He may make you suddenly feel tired or irritable in general or with the mentee in particular. It’s shameful to admit, but it’s a reality.
He may distract you with other issues outside the session so you miss the real issues and concerns of your mentee. The narcotic draw of notifications can pull you out of a great mentor session and get you thinking about a thousand other things besides the mentee in front of you.
He may tempt you to make the session all about yourself and your own troubles. Before you know it, you may drone on and on about your own experiences and struggles without realizing that you have taken the session hostage by your personal need to be served.
He may encourage you to rush out immediately after the mentor session ends so you can return to “more important” work.
How Satan may tempt you, simply:
Rush you in
Accuse you
Wear you down
Distract you
Inflate you
Rush you out
Because of the temptations of our enemy and our personal weakness, our judgement is often clouded when we don’t prepare our own hearts before a mentor session (and even sometimes when we do!). As a result, we will often default to the law when the gospel is needed or we will speak the law from a heart of judgment rather than a heart of compassion; and when we default to the law, we become impatient and overly directive.
So, in addition to preparing yourself to mentor in general, you also need to prepare your heart before each mentor session. This does not mean you need to spend hours in fasting, prayer, and meditation before each session. However, you want to take some time to do the following:
Review the truth that you are a baptized, redeemed, eternally beloved child of God, perhaps through quiet mediation or a brief Bible reading.
Pray for wisdom, strength, patience, and focus.
Pray for the mentee him/herself that God would prepare him/her and help him/her focus.
In these ways, you will approach your mentee from a position of gospel strength so you can be truly present for him/her, ready to encourage him/her to rest in Christ and reflect him with his/her life.
[1] I know this list, because I have experienced every one of these temptations multiple times before mentor sessions.