The Difference between Mentoring, Professional Counseling, and Pastoral Care
#28 in the Gospel-Centered Mentoring Training Series
Someone once made the distinction that counseling looks backward, and coaching/mentoring looks forward. He was not speaking pejoratively of counseling and positively of coaching/mentoring; he was just distinguishing between the trajectories of the two. In psychotherapy, you generally explore a client’s past to discover why she is struggling emotionally, spiritually, even physically in the present. The aim is to help the client address the past so that she can experience healing in the present and into the future. Coaching and gospel-centered mentoring start where the client/mentee is in the present and help him grow spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially/vocationally toward wholehearted character in the future.
The mentor should guard against letting a mentor session morph into a counseling session. If the mentee needs extensive pastoral care or professional counseling, the gospel-centered mentor will refer her appropriately or put on the pastoral care or professional counseling hat if he has been trained in this way.
Please also note a distinction between "pastoral care" and "professional counseling" here. Many pastors and other church leaders have been trained to offer pastoral care which uses law and gospel to help someone heal from spiritual wounds, whether self-inflicted or inflicted on her by others. That is not the same as professional counseling which is defined as "The application of mental health, psychological, or human development principles, through cognitive, affective, behavioral or systematic intervention strategies, that address wellness, personal growth, or career development, as well as pathology".[1]
None of this implies that a mentor cannot discuss the mentee’s past with her. Sometimes mentees must evaluate their former habits and experiences to help them create a better future. Sometimes mentees must confess their past sins so they can move forward in the power of the gospel toward the future.
Certainly, mentoring, pastoral care, and professional counseling require many similar skills, such as listening well and asking good questions. But that does not imply that a well-trained mentor can act as a professional counselor; mentors are wise to stay in their lane of helping others grow as wholehearted followers of Christ who rest in him fully and reflect him faithfully.
Thoughts? I would love to hear them in the comments section.
Thank you Matt. I do have one comment. YEARS AGO "someone told me of a sin, they trusted me. I was a mentor to this person. I asked if they would like to see one of our pastors and they said "YES but I do not want to go alone." I went with them. Once into the office of the pastor, I asked precisely.. "Will THIS what is spoken about be told to ANYONE else?" He said it would not . So this person shared "the" sin. Just a short while after, people in the church had heard about it and some confronted my friend. I never ever had shared it , not even with my husband.. so because the Pastor told the other pastor and the word got out, she left the church . Thankfully this person never left the Lord. So truly, I pray that our Pastors are aware of even sharing with another Pastor ruins fellowship and trust. God's continued blessings to you both. Lord, open the shut doors for Matt & Christine that Your precious Word will be told .. "Go tell it on the mountain". Onward Christian Soldier. You are loved and prayed over. Love, Ann Tolly
Thank you so much for writing this article! I think pastors can benefit greatly from learning some of basics of professional counseling, such as, having a positive regard towards the counselee, avoiding closed questions, avoiding "why" questions that immediately put the person on the defensive, learning to reflect feelings back to the client, and learning to help the client see the contrast between their Christian values and their present thoughts, feelings, and actions. None of these skills necessarily mean you are digging deep into a person's past in a freudian way. However, when a pastor/mentor uses these skill he/she might be able to draw more insight out of the person they are working with. Thank you for writing these posts!