The Thirty-Minute Mentor, Part 2
Part 2 of 3 | Gospel-Centered Mentoring
Welcome to our three-part series introducing a simple gospel-centered mentoring method that can be used to give inquisitive Christians a powerful taste of the blessings of mentoring. You will find Part 1 here.
Step 3: Prayer
Once you have listened to the mentee’s highs and low and assured her of God’s grace, it’s time for prayer, step 3 in the Thirty-Minute Mentor process.
Prayer typically has 3 components: rejoice, repent, and request.
We rejoice in God for who He is and thank Him for what He has done for us. This helps us approach Him with a humble and grateful attitude.
We repent for the ways we have sinned in thought, word, and actions. This practice reminds us that we aren’t as great as we often think and that we need grace as much as anyone else.
We present our requests to God. We humbly and confidently petition God about His name, His Kingdom, and His will, about forgiveness, temptation, the battle against evil, and our daily needs.
How do you intercede for mentees through these 3 components?
Rejoice
Building on the highs that the mentee shared, praise God for his greatness and kindness; thank him specifically for all the ways he has blessed the mentee recently.
Repent
Perhaps the mentee admitted to some sinful thoughts, words, or actions or failure to do the good he knew he should have done. Of course, you will use the Bible sharing time to assure him of Christ’s unfailing love and forgiveness. However, praying for the mentee can also present opportunities to address the repentant component of prayer.
When interceding for a mentee, repenting on her behalf is not really possible; but you can thank the Holy Spirit for leading her to repent and for covering her sin completely in Christ’s perfect Robe of Righteousness. Remember to walk with the mentee as a fellow Christian who also struggles with sin and needs daily reminders of Christ’s grace. For inspiration, Daniel and Nehemiah are excellent examples of identifying with their fellow believers in sin and grace.[1]
Request
Often, prayer requests arise from the lows of the mentee. Whatever he is struggling with; whatever his needs; whatever his desires—these are natural topics about which the mentor can pray.
More Prayer Tips
Though you may have observed some immaturity, spiritual imbalance, or sinful attitudes in the mentee, do not use prayer to preach. Prayer is talking to God on behalf of the mentee, not to the mentee on behalf of God, especially in matters of God’s law. While you may use prayer to model the priorities in the Lord’s Prayer (more spiritual focus than physical requests), avoid doing this to teach the mentee. This is primarily a time to pour out your heart to God on behalf of His child.
That being said, praying the Scriptures and promises of God is one way to encourage the mentee. In my circles, pastors will often say that “prayer is not a means of grace”,[2] but the means of grace in a prayer is still the means of grace. And God creates and strengthens faith through the means of grace. Whenever you pray the Scriptures, that is, basing the words of your prayer on Scripture, God will work through those words to convict, comfort, and direct the mentee. Still more, praying the Scriptures nearly guarantees that your prayer will reflect God’s values and priorities.
A Listening Heart
Public gospel ministers of every stripe have been taught to proclaim God’s truth. And praise God for that! Contrary to what some Christian life coaches believe and teach, everything that a Christian mentee needs is NOT always right inside her, despite the Holy Spirit’s mighty work in her heart. As believers who currently have two natures, an Old Adam/Eve and a New Man/Woman, we still suffer often from self-deception (Jeremiah 17:9). We need others to regularly speak law and gospel into our lives.
At the same time, the only way to know how to properly speak law and gospel to a mentee is to listen. Does the mentee need to be convicted or comforted? Does the mentee need to resist the endless grumblings and rumblings of the Old Adam and carry his cross? Does the mentee need to heed the spirit-filled promptings of the New Woman and fulfill her vocations faithfully? Does the mentee need to be charged up with God’s promises before facing the challenges of the day? You will only discover all these things by listening.
Note that you are not listening to solve the mentee’s problems during this session. You’re listening to inform your prayers for her at the end of the session, so you can praise God for her highs and petition God on her behalf for the highs and lows. Resist the urge to ponder solutions or to fashion good follow-up questions. Resist the urge to ponder which Scripture verse might be most appropriate for her situation or how you will pray for her. Just listen. Don’t even write down her highs and lows for the sake of remembering what to pray for later. If you listen well, you will pray well.
As you listen, be curious. Not in the “I wonder how to diagnose that” sort of way, but in the “Wow! That’s really interesting or difficult” kind of way. This sort of curiosity naturally leads to follow up questions, the kind of questions you ask friends when you are engaged in their story: “Tell me more!” “So, how did you deal with that?” “What did that feel like?” If you listen curiously, you will know the follow up questions to ask.
Listen well and be curious so you can pray well later.
[1] Daniel 9:4-19 and Nehemiah 1:4-11.
[2] See Psalm 119:103, Romans 10:14-17, and 2 Timothy 3:14-17. The gospel message is what creates and strengthens faith, not our prayers.
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Dr. Matthew Doebler, God’s Somebody, serves as professor at Asia Lutheran Seminary and missionary for the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. He is passionate about four M’s: mentoring, missiology, multiplication, and ministry of the gospel. As a mentor with over 10 years of experience and a coaching certification from NACC, he is committed to equipping others to develop into wholehearted followers of Christ who rest in Him fully and reflect Him faithfully. He is the author of “God Loves Nobodies: Good News for Somebody Like Me”, the forthcoming “Gospel-Centered Mentoring,” and an introduction to Gospel-Centered Mentoring course on Udemy. He also co-hosts the missiology podcast, “Jesus and Jetlag” (available on Spotify and Apple) He is blessed to be the friend, lover, and coworker of Christine, father to five (two by marriage), and grandfather of 2 beautiful little ones.